Parkland

A couple of weeks have passed since I have written much in my online journal, and this is because I took a long trip across the country with my daughter-in-law. It was a wonderful time, but it was also a completely different flow to my normal routine. I did not have access to my system, and frankly, my entire focus was on them. Each time I thought, “Wow, I haven’t had many visions or spiritual warfare,” it was like I could feel the gentle hand of the Holy Spirit directing me right back to doing the task at hand – enjoying my family and ministering to them. The nights were really quiet and peaceful. The entire trip was so uneventful and pleasant. Here I had been all geared up for a big fight with the enemy along the way, and it never manifested.

The prophetic flow is so deeply intense when it gets going that I was unprepared for how it felt to try and get back into it again. It’s like standing next to the ocean and wondering if I should step in, wade in, or dive in. The awkward reconnection. I know it probably shouldn’t be this way, but my experiences have been so consuming, and these times with the Lord so passionate and meaningful that it’s not something to be taken lightly. You can’t just “wander back in” to the prophetic flow. My routine was so important, especially the mornings, and here I was having jetlag very badly, wanting to sleep later than I should. I had to pray and ask the Lord for help.

I saw a vision of myself standing on a cliff at the seashore. He was telling me that I could dive right in, but He would rather I return to the regular flow of ministry as He showed me in the beginning. Giving honor to the words, the events, the visions, the dreams I have received. Spending time with Him in the mornings. Intercessory prayer.

It’s Thursday of the following week, and I can say with confidence that everything is beginning to return to normalcy. I’m still a little tired and trying to get my sleep cycle under control, but the Lord is right there with me. Last night, for example, He woke me at 3:00, 3:33, 4:00 and 4:44. Just like old times! These are the watch times I typically get up and pray.

Yesterday was a very eventful day. I actually met another prophet, and her name was Nelly Joseph. She works in deliverance and inner healing in the Miami area, and I came across her name on Periscope. I reached out to her, and she and I have been corresponding. She came to help me with the difficult case of the one student I have who has a troubled past because of his family’s involvement in the occult. She possesses a lot of knowledge in the regional occult of Santeria and some of the island religions. We had a very helpful session together. One wonderful thing that happened was the reappearance of the Ibis birds, which the Lord has shown is His sign of blessing and a strategic intersection. I am positive this new friendship will yield great rewards.

And then, three hours after her departure, we learned that one of the worst mass school shootings in US History had just happened 12 miles away in Parkland, Florida. This was the same high school that some of our men have gone to. Yesterday evening, during the service, we prayed for the families of those students, and we prayed for the safety of all the students in Broward County. I could not help but feel a sense of righteous anger and later sadness. To make matters worse, I had become irritated with a student I have corrected before, who insists on behaving badly before church on a regular basis. All of this anger, sadness, the incident with the student, and then later, watching a horrific video of students screaming and dying, as you can probably guess, opened the door for a satanic attack in my dreams last night.

I knew my daughter had viewed these videos, and I had an unsettled feeling about it. But I felt like I had to see them anyway. The Holy Spirit gently nudged me away from watching it, but I was being very emotional about the whole thing. After I saw it, I wept so hard. And I cried myself to sleep.

I was feeling horrible. I am a prophetic intercessor in Florida. This has happened on my watch. How can I pray about this? How can I stop these things from happening? As a matter of coincidence, I had looked up “prophetic intercession Florida” that very morning to find Ken Malone and Jennifer LeClaire’s page with no activity since this time last year. Can I pray and cover the whole state myself? What if it happens in California? Will I feel responsible for that too? What happens when horrific, traumatic things happen on my prophetic watch? How do I deal with that?

I rebuked the attack of the enemy and repented for my disobedience and fear as I woke up. I went into intercession for the families and for our children and community, and I asked God to give me a strategy that would work going forward to prevent these types of things happening. I am eagerly awaiting His answer.

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Rectify

Wednesday morning, I completed an exercise that Apostle Les Crause recommends for breakthrough.  For a solid hour, I prayed in tongues.  It was very interesting.  It was the first time in awhile that I thought I might actually go into a trance.  During this time, I was reminded of My Highest Call as the Lord brought back to remembrance the moment when I realized what it was, and I submitted to it.  He pulled me very close right after that, and I felt another sense of Him wanting to teach me something important, and to step very carefully, following after Him.

I went to the office to begin my day and, as usual, I prayed, interceding for the ministry.  He said, “Before you begin today, I want you to listen.  What do you hear?”

I said, “I hear a faucet dripping somewhere, Lord.”

Just then, I knew in my spirit that I needed to pray about the waste that was going on.  And I wasn’t just praying for the waste.  I was praying for all the waste, fraud, theft, extra expenditures, bad decisions, and needless loss the ministry has experienced for 66 years.  I repented for every mistake since the beginning, no matter who was at fault.  And there, I found myself doing something that I had never done before.  I heard myself speaking as if I was in court, presenting a legal case, and asking for reparations.

Then, “What else do you hear?”

“I hear a low hum.  Something is on.  A computer, maybe a refrigerator.  I don’t know…”

Just then, I knew I needed to pray for the constant hum of the Holy Spirit to undergird everything at all times, in all ways here in the ministry.  I began to woo the Holy Spirit, inviting it into the atmosphere, inviting the Holy Spirit to infuse everything we do.

“And what else do you hear?” He asked.

“I hear a plane flying overhead.  Just now, yes,” I said.

Just then, I felt a release in my spirit to license worshiping angels to begin to lift up a song to the Lord in the heaven above our campus and ministry.  I began to see them in the spirit, flying across from left to right and back again, singing worship songs to the Lord.

We had yet another breakthrough service Wednesday evening where the power of the Lord was manifestly present and strong.  People were set free, healed.  One young lady came forward for prayer with her family, and she just wept.  She just wanted to be in the presence of the Lord, and she had found it.  Her mother had been obedient to receiving the prophetic word I had given her last week, and her business has totally exploded.  God is revealing Himself to her, and He is blessing their family incredibly powerfully right now.

I gave a congregational prophetic word last night to the body, and it was a success.  It was encouraging, uplifting, and hope building.  I didn’t babble on too badly.

This morning, I woke up to hearing someone speaking an audible word to me, and the entire room shifted from left to right.  I thought, “That is a shift,” and the word stuck in my brain sideways.  Right then, I was visited in the spirit by a messenger angel holding a very large scroll.  He was fair-haired and dressed in plain clothes – regular clothes.  I audibly heard him speak in the natural, and he said “Rectify.”  I heard him say this twice, and I looked around both times to try to find out who was speaking to me.  I thought it was my son, but no.  It was the angel.  He said, “Rectify” twice.  And the scroll contained one single word, written diagonally.

Rectify.

 

Deception

Prophetic books and guides contain so much revelation, and with all that revelation comes many caveats about deception.  No matter what you read, you’re going to see it repeated over and over again, “But be careful not to get into deception.”  Every prophet seems very concerned with getting into error, receiving wrong revelation, and being deceived.  This seems appropriate given all the warnings about false prophets and even the elect being deceived by false prophets.

I still really take issue with some of that because the scripture also teaches very clearly that, if we are following Jesus, we, as His sheep, will know His voice.  False prophets in the Bible clearly are people who have selfish motives for prophesying, who are trying to receive financial gain, political influence, or some other self-promoting thing.

I believe that if you’re truly submitted to the Lord and listening for His voice, you may receive a vision in error, or interpret the vision erroneously, but that the Lord Jesus will get you right back on track in that loving way He does.  I think we put much too much emphasis on the destruction the enemy could do in a heart that is totally surrendered to the Lord, especially over perceiving something incorrectly in the spirit realm one time.

I am careful to break links and ties emotionally and spiritually with other people when I minister to them, especially if I’m starting to feel strange, oppressed, angry, heavy, etc. after a ministry session.  If I see something in the spirit realm that seems to contradict the word of God, I know it probably is not from the Lord.  If something I sense puts me in bondage, I don’t trust that.  And of course, I am never going to put my trust in anything other than the Lord Jesus.  Even if an angel came and wanted me to follow him and forsake Jesus, obviously, I would never do it.  This is the kind of fear that keeps people rooted where they are and away from the marvelous exploration of the spirit realm, where we can experience the Lord in a fresh, new, and much more intimate way.

Monday morning, I woke up and was receiving a very impulsive, pushy sense of direction, as if “someone” or “something” wanted me to get up, get on my knees, pray for this and that.  I didn’t even think it was the Lord, because I just sensed it wasn’t.  Is it an angel?  What is going on here?  Who is here trying to give me orders?  It just did not make sense.

When I sense the presence of the Lord, I sense a “person” with me.  And that person is full.  He is whole.  It is the person of Jesus.  I don’t really see His face although He has shown me His face a couple of times in a very rare intimate moment.  But I sense the whole person with me.  When I looked in the spirit realm to see where this pushy voice was coming from, it was like the person was being “projected” or blinking in and out of existence in the spirit.  He seemed faceless.

I know the spirit was telling me to pray for this and that, but I discerned it was clearly not the Lord, and the impulsive, pushy spirit made me think it was really actually evil in nature.  I ended up rebuking that spirit.  I called it a “cloaked spirit,” and called it out, demanding that it stop hiding things and leave.

I believe this event was allowed by the Lord, in His goodness, to show me exactly what it really is like to see this deception – even though I was not deceived.  So my spirit would just be settled and not worry about being deceived anymore.  I now know what deception looks and feels like, and I can just relax a little and trust the voice of the Lord, knowing it is Him.

My Hometown

I’ve been woken up several mornings to pray, and a few times, I have heard a door knocking. I might possibly be dreaming it, but I’ve checked each time, and there is no one at my door. At this point, I simply wake up because I know the Lord is wanting to give me an instruction. When this happens, I always check the time, and it is always, without exception, during the 4th watch of the night, which is the pre-dawn watch. Specifically, I usually wake at 3 a.m. on the dot, 3:33 a.m., 4 a.m. or 4:44 a.m.

Yesterday morning, I woke at 3 a.m. and had plenty of energy, walked into the spare bedroom and looked up some scripture to pray. I had been studying watches, what they symbolize, and what scriptures might be good to pray during that watch. I pulled up those scriptures and began to dig into one such 4th watch of the night in which Jesus was walking on the water. The disciples thought he was a ghost, and they were fearful of the wind.

I found it very timely that the Lord led me to that scripture. In the last week, the Lord showed me a vision in which He was translucent, and I was walking with Him in the spirit. He also showed Himself to me in the wind during another sign. It was just another confirmation. I did intercessory prayer for my family, the city, the campus, and then felt a release in my spirit. I was able to lay down and sleep.

This morning, it was 4:44 a.m. I got up feeling refreshed and grabbed my pillow, heading into the spare bedroom. What shall I pray for this morning, Lord? I laid there and began to think about Huntington, West Virginia. It’s my hometown, and it’s really in a difficult season. Drugs and crime have moved in almost overnight in the last 5 years, and everything has gone downhill. Lately, I have been burdened for this area, and the Lord even gave me a word to give the prophets in that city.

I have no idea how to get this word to them, but I have it when the time is right. I know the Lord will show me how and when to release it.

I prayed for Huntington until I felt a release, and then the thought occurred to me, “What is the significance of 4:44?” On a whim, I ran it across a Google search, “4:44 scripture” is what I put in. And this is the result: “Now Jesus Himself had pointed out that a prophet has no honor in his own hometown.”

I know this is a confirmation that the prophecy I received from the Lord is accurate. I am studying how to release this word. It’s exciting, because I believe if the prophets will obey the word, the city will have a turnaround. I just… don’t know… if they will listen. (I’m laughing here as I write this. Why would anyone listen to me anyway? Jesus already said it Himself. A prophet has no honor in his own hometown). LOL.

I love you, Lord! I don’t know what You’re up to, but I’m totally going with You.

I Need A Sign

Thursday evening, I was feeling led to do something very specific and different with the prophetic key. It was something I had never done before, and I am really hesitant to mention it in detail here. It was basically speaking against something evil going on in a church. I have only ever spoke encouraging, positive, uplifting things. I don’t think once in my life I have ever prayed for something to be ended, but I felt the Lord was giving me a clear instruction on ending something.

The moment I realized what He was asking me to do, I got into my Bible, into my teachings, to be sure I was grounded. I stood straight up from my desk and looked out the window, “God,” I said, “I need a sign. I cannot just step out and do this without some confirmation.” I felt emboldened in the moment and prepared, for sure, but it was such a new thing that I felt it was necessary to have some confirmation before moving on.

I looked at the palm trees outside, and I thought of the Holy Spirit, and I said, “Wind. Lord, please make it blow hard. Harder than ever. Please show me unmistakably.”

Of course, the next day, I read you aren’t supposed to do that. Fleeces aren’t the right way to go about it. You’re supposed to ask the Lord for a sign, but you don’t get to pick the sign. That’s no good. But, I’d already asked the Lord.

After I asked the Lord to blow the wind for me to give me a sign that this was the right way to go, I heard the Lord say, “Now, take a break for a moment, go home, check on your son.” The Lord is really a good nurturer. He never presses me to the point of exhaustion without giving me the power to accomplish what is needed. The moment I get in my flesh, I’m going to be super tired with zero motivation.

I go home, check on my son, and I just have this feeling I should step out on the back porch, so I do. Just then, the wind whips up. Bigtime. And I begin to feel the presence of the Lord with me. This time, there’s authority and power. He’s not just my friend in the moment. He’s a friend on a mission. And He’s holding my hand. “Are you ready?” He asks.

“It is hard, Lord, but You died for me. I can die to my fears. I can use this key for You,” I said.

Just then, I saw the neighbor’s dog start barking, but he could not bark fully because it was like his vocal cords weren’t working right. He had some throat problem. When he did that, I was reminded of the dead dog vision I’d had on Monday. I was reminded that the Lord and I were walking in the spirit together. And there came the wind in power, blowing everything around.

Just then, I began to speak, and as I did in obedience, the Lord allowed me to see the reality of the situation in the spirit. The evil I was bringing to an end in the body of Christ was more evil than I realized on the surface. He showed me the depth of the problem, and what it was truly responsible for. I had never before understood it, and now it was crystal clear why this needed to come to an end.

I walked back to the office to read a little bit more, and on the next page were these words, “Hey, if you do not want to go speak my word, I’ll use an ass. So don’t think you’re so special, hey? Do not think I choose you because you’re so eloquent. Hey, I can use the dog next door if I really want to. So don’t you go boast about what I have put in you.” This is from the book Prophetic Office, by Les Crause.

The wind whipped up outside and continued to blow. Trust me when I say I was full of the Holy Spirit and paying attention.

I had called my father that morning because, well… I don’t know. I haven’t shared anything about my prophetic call with them even over the last year or so. They might not understand it really, and they don’t have to. I don’t want them to think I’ve gone off the deep end, but if something happened to me one day, I would hate to think they would hear from my husband and the people I ministered to them that I moved in the prophetic so much, and I never shared it with them. Somehow, I believe the prophetic is in the blood. I see it in my own children. So I called him up myself and said, “Dad, do you remember when I was little, and how I suffered really badly with dreams at night?  Well, I never said anything about it, but it’s happened off and on throughout my whole life.  It got really bad right before I married Douglas, but he read this book, and it suggested that this could be something that could be used for the Lord.  So for the past year and a half or so, I’ve been having dreams and visions. It’s happening a lot. I believe the Lord is speaking to me.” (…insert crickets sound here).

He said it sounded important, and that he believed me.  There’s nothing more humbling for a prophet than for your dad to say, “Well… that sounds real good, babydoll.  Sounds like you’re getting closer to the Lord.”  If I ever start to get uppity as a prophet, I’m going to go right back here and read this part, and remember my dad’s reaction.

I said, “Would you do me a favor? I’ve been seeing visions about the Lord returning again. Would you ask the Lord to show you this too? Maybe he will give you a dream. Maybe he will speak to you the way he’s speaking to me.” He said of course he would.

I could tell I had caught him blindsided, but he called me back a few days later, telling me that he had prayed day and night, and even when he woke up in the middle of the night about it. But that the Lord had not told him anything. He said he thinks maybe the Lord is showing me that, in my job, it’s a life or death situation for the men here, and the Lord wants me to know I’m making a big difference, and he’s pleased with me.

And then he said, “But something just happened, and it made me pick up the phone to call you.” My heart started beating really quickly, and he said, “I was outside the church. You know, me and your mom go down every Saturday and clean the church, and I change the sign.” My dad is a deacon. There is no one more faithful than my dad and mom at their church. They’ve just always been like that. They do all the little things that no one notices or sees, but it’s for the Lord. He said, “As I was putting the letters on the sign, this big wind came up, and it just swirled all around me, and I felt the Lord, and I thought of you. His presence was so strong that it brought tears to my eyes. I knew He was telling me something about you. So I wanted to call you.”

The wind.

My dad.

The dog.

The sign.

Do you see how the Holy Spirit works?

I laughed out loud. Of course, my dad doesn’t understand. I would have tried to explain it to him, but he can’t hear very well anyway. And I would have had to tell three stories for him to understand why it was the wind that was significant.

I’ve done what I could do in my own way to let my mom and dad know about my call. I am so happy for this confirmation. I’ve learned so much just in this first week alone.

Wait on the Lord’s timing before ministering deliverance. People aren’t going to hear from me or see the visions and dreams like you can. Don’t rush into anything. I’ll lead you step by step. Don’t tell me what kind of sign you want. I’ll give you one of my own.

Time

Last night, we were sitting at a restaurant. It was getting time for us to leave, and I said, “We need to be getting out of here.”

My husband said, “Just sit. There’s no need to rush.”

I said, “No, I think the waitresses probably want to leave, and it’s closing time soon.”

He said, “Why are you in such a rush?”

I said, “It’s just time… I don’t want to take their time.” At that moment, when I uttered such odd words, it occurred to me that I was being triggered. Being triggered, for me, is a sensation I experience when I have a reaction to something that is disproportionate to reality. Someone says a word, and inside, I have this inexplicable rage or anger. I have experienced this many times in the past when I have been interrupted, until the Lord walked me through why this was happening. Admittedly, sometimes it is hormonal, and I also know how to manage that. But this time, I sensed the Lord was trying to show me something.

I just said, “Lord, what is it about wasting time, or wasting other peoples’ time? I feel aggravated when I have to keep working, keep working, cannot rest.” Having a husband who understands this process I’m going through is very convenient, because I can simply get into this dialogue with the Lord when I need to vocally. And so he just sat patiently while I tried to work through this. After I asked the question, immediately the Holy Spirit brought this to my mind.

I saw a memory of my mother, putting her finger in my face and pointing at me and saying, “You don’t lift a finger around here!” In this memory as a young girl, I had worked very hard that day, perhaps at school or something, and I was just exhausted. I felt hopeless, as if I couldn’t do anything to please her. I didn’t know how much harder I would have to work. I felt like I was not equipped to do what she was asking me to do. Where do I start? What exactly does she want me to do? I remember even hearing her say, “If I have to tell you what to do, then that’s the big problem.” Hopelessness. Fear that I would lose her approval. Fear that I would never really know what to do as a woman, to take care of business around the house. Fear that I would not be like her. Fear that I WOULD be just like her. It was simply an impossibility.

I looked at my hand in this memory and allowed those feelings to wash over me in the here and now, as my adult self. “You never lift a finger around here!” I kept hearing her say. Just then, I heard the Lord say, “Lift your finger.”

I lifted my ring finger.

I received this vision then: The Lord then took my hand after I lifted it, and he pulled me into an embrace. He began to dance with me, and we laughed. He said, “It’s not about wasting time. I’m not wasting my time with you here, am I?”

“No,” I replied, “We have eternity together.”

The entire concept of wasting time is silly. The entire concept of not working hard enough, for me, is silly. All the time belongs to the Lord. Jesus has all the time in the world, and I am with him 100% of the time. He has done all the work. If we do anything, we will do it at his pace, not mine. Everything is beautiful and needful and useful, even the times I feel I’m wasting time or not working hard enough.

 

The Call

After the revelation about the dog, playing dead, and remembering my desire to just walk with Jesus in the realm of the spirit, I had a settled peace about me. The Lord had made me faithful. I could not make myself faithful. It was Him that made me faithful.

I was feeling a bit wrung out and realized I hadn’t had any breakfast. The night before, I had roasted a lemon spatch-cocked chicken and then made a lemon chicken soup out of it. I had never made this kind before, but it turned out to be very tasty.

I felt the gentle presence of the Lord as I sat down at my table to eat. I said out loud, “I wish you could taste this, Lord. It’s so good. I wonder if you’ll let me make this for you in heaven.”

I felt Him look at me in surprise for a moment, and then I felt His joy. Then, He did something unexpected in the spirit, but elegant, taking my hand and raising me up to my feet. I closed my eyes and imagined heaven. Then, it was all white around, and I felt like we were surrounded by the hosts of heaven, which made me feel a little unprepared because I had just been talking about chicken soup.

“Will you be my prophet?” He asked me gently.

“Yes,” I said, “I will be your prophet. Lord, I know I am your daughter, but I will be Your servant as Your prophet.” In my heart, I knelt, “I kneel before You right now, Lord. Yes, I desire to be Your prophet. Even more than that, Lord, I desire my highest call.”

He smiled. He knows.

“My highest call is to be Your friend. I just want to be with You, Lord. You know,” I said.

He pulled me close and gave me a tender hug. I felt our hearts beating together, chest to chest. It was as if I was feeling His heartbeat and mine together.

“Will you care for them?” He said.

“Yes,” I said, thinking about His heartbeat, “I have heard Your cry for Your own.”

He pulled back and then said, “Go, and do as I say. Say only what I tell you to say. Dream, and I will speak to you in dreams. You will be my prophet.”

Just then, I saw a glimmer in His eye of good humor, and He said, “It’s funny that you call yourself a ‘stupid clay pot.’” And then He laughed! It was the most marvelous moment, and He leaned in and said, “I like it, but ‘simple clay pot’ sounds more professional. It’s an office, after all.”

He went on, this time becoming more serious, “Out of your mouth will flow rivers of living water. No man will be able to come against the words you speak out of that simple clay pot. I give you authority and power,” and with that, He placed a silver ring on my finger with a purplish blue stone, “Go in My name.”

I was overcome with emotion. This is exactly what I had asked for days ago. There has been so much confusion over whether I should seek out someone to ordain me, or if the Lord is going to send someone like manna from heaven, or if He’s going to do it himself. My husband said he was sure the Lord would ordain me Himself since He was mentoring me step by step. This was the Lord’s answer.

“Jesus, please, just be with me,” I said quietly.

“Forever and ever, we are going to be together,” He said. I knew it. He will never leave me. “It is going to seem like I’m not there sometimes, but I will be there. Be courageous. Know that I am with you, and keep coming back here to me.”

I experienced this moment on Monday. It is Saturday before I’m placing this in my blog, because I’ve been overwhelmed since this event happened. After this transition took place, I have felt the very near presence of the Lord Jesus walking with me, talking with me, guiding me, laughing with me, filling me with His love and perspective on nearly everything. He has told me that it’s no longer necessary to write down every revelation I receive because it’s going to become a continuous flow, and I will not remember it all. And He has been right. Since Monday, I have been walking in the fullness of the spirit almost all the time.

He was right. He IS my reward. This presence, this joy… He is my very great reward. I want nothing more. Lord, I will be Your prophet, but more importantly, I will be Your friend.