The King of the World

I’m reading Ken Wilson’s, “Mystically Wired.”  This, in combination with the utter inability to still my mind yesterday morning during my quiet time, led me to do some spontaneous research about Transcendental Meditation (TM).  It was so very exciting and interesting to think about doing this right up until the point where the research took a left turn, and it was revealed that the mantras used were connected with Hindu gods.  The mental technique, however, is still very much of interest to me if it will help me focus on stillness so I can listen and hear from God and See in the Spirit better.

This is different from traditional Christian meditation which is usually explained as focusing on scripture, studying, using all the mental faculties to be enlightened, like the men who were walking on the Road to Emmaus.  I totally get that, and I have and still do practice this.  But what I’m wanting to do is STOP using all my mental faculties and be still.  Clear my mind and just invite the Holy Spirit to speak and reveal Himself to me – apart from my own agenda and thoughts.

In the past, I have heard that this is dangerous because if you empty your mind, the enemy can quickly come in and take up residence.  It’s very hard for me to believe I could be possessed by a demon or something like that if I’m offering up my imagination and thought life to the Lord Himself.  I do have more confidence in the Lord than that.  It just seems like I get the greatest revelation from Him when I am able to get quiet and stop thinking so much.  I’m just looking for a good mental technique as a vehicle to get me to that place.  Repeating the name of a Hindu god is definitely not the vehicle I want to use, no.

The TM thought is that you should pick a mantra that means absolutely nothing.  Something unintelligible to the one speaking the mantra.  I obviously don’t want to choose the name of a Hindu god or something ridiculous like that, but as I lay in bed yesterday thinking about these things, I focused on a picture of some kind of plant and the word “JARDIN” below it.  I don’t know what “jardin” means, but it was a two-syllable looking harmless word.  So I just murmured that word to myself a little bit and it did have a calming effect, though it was hard for me to stop thinking about the process and whether or not it was working.  Later that evening, I told my husband about this whole silly episode, and he said, “Oh!  Yeah, jardin.  That means garden!”  I gave him my sarcastic thanks for ruining my new experimental mantra, since I know what it means now.

So this morning I sat with very quiet, barely audible worship music playing in the background.  I had a desire to connect with the Lord in whatever form that took.  I really wanted to still my thoughts and just hear His voice.  I considered beginning to speak in tongues – which actually is unintelligible – to try and just clear my mind.  So the first word I said in tongues, I began to just repeat slowly, breathing slowly.  This was very effective in calming, clearing my thoughts.  When I would begin to think of something, I would focus on that word again.  Spontaneously, I began to say the name of Jesus.

Of course, the name of Jesus does not mean nothing.  It is not unintelligible.  His name means… well… everything.  I whispered His name after my thoughts became still, and so incredibly clearly, I saw in my mind’s vision His eye, looking at me.  His eye took up the entire visual field, and I kept repeating His name.  The scene changed, and I saw Him climbing on top of a great stack of boxes and things.  It rose high into the sky, and I knew it was all of my “things.”  My issues.  My areas of life.  The compartments of my life.  At the top was a throne, and He sat down on it.  Yes, You are the King of it all, I said to Him.  The dishwasher was humming in the background, and the worship music and the dishwasher both got quiet at the same time in that moment as the worship music began to change into the next song.  I kept repeating, “You are the King of everything.  You are the King of my world.  All of my life.”  Just then, I heard a woman’s voice begin to sing in the background.  I could not make out the words and really was not trying.  But just then in the stillness, as I meditated on Jesus sitting on the throne of all of my things, I heard her distinctly sing, “The King of the World.”

In that moment, the hair on the back of my head began to tingle, and I saw in my mind’s eye that the Lord had come off the throne and was now dancing with me.  I was in different stages of my life each time I saw myself, but the image settled in on me as a young girl.  We fell down into a field with soft grass, looking up at the sky, presumably probably where I had all of those big boxes of issues and things just a few moments ago that the adult me had proclaimed Jesus the King of my World.  There were no more boxes.  Just me and Jesus laying down in the field with soft grass.

He pulled me up to my feet and then hugged me close, shoulder to shoulder, so that he could lay his hand on my heart.  I knew it was my heart because I saw little red heart shapes around his hand and my chest.  It makes me laugh right now thinking about it, but it’s such a girl thing, the little red hearts that little girls draw on everything.  But in that moment, in my vision, I was not laughing at all.  My eyes were filling with tears, thinking about that little girl, about Jesus hugging her, and the innocence of it all.  I silently cried and asked Jesus, “Would you restore my innocence? Is it possible for you to restore my innocence and let me keep my wisdom?”

Just then, I saw a pair of hands tilting.  They were full of water, and I knew the water had come from the great eye I had seen in my vision earlier.  There were tears from the eye in the vision, and the water in His hands were from that eye.  As He tilted His hands, the water spilled out and over me.  Just then, I felt a great warmth, and a prickling sensation all along my back.  Washing me.  Restoring my innocence.

“I promised I would,” He said, and I remembered the dream I had where He had spoken to me, that He would remove all these things from me.

Yes, Jesus is the King of my world. He is the King of my heart.  He is the one who washes me clean, who restores my innocence.  Who gives me wisdom.  He is the answer to all my questions, and He shows up powerfully when I meditate on Him.

I try to fit You in the walls inside my mind
I try to keep You safely in between the lines
I try to put You in the box that I’ve designed
I try to pull You down so we are eye to eye

When did I forget that You’ve always been the King of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the King of the world
How could I make You so small?
When You’re the one who holds it all
When did I forget that You’ve always been the King of the world?

Just a whisper of Your voice can tame the seas
So who am I to try to take the lead?
Still I run ahead and think I’m strong enough
When You’re the one who made me from the dust

Oh, You set it all in motion
Every single moment
You brought it all to be
And You’re holding on to me

King of the World – Natalie Grant

This word of his pouring over me was confirmed November 12, 2017, by Pastor Kathryn Bausman.  Part of her word was this:  “You would pour your spirit all over her. Just keep on pouring.”